Sometimes when I’m walking, I will get the feeling that time is overlapping.
While walking the dog at dusk, it’s as if a layer of 1980-something is floating just underneath, or over top.
Almost as though I am viewing myself in the future from a place in the past and aware of how odd and surreal this future is.
Where I live, how old I am, my life situation — feels odd to me, like I am seeing myself through the eyes of a young me.
The feeling itself is like deja-vu but that isn’t quite right. I’m not sure what it is.
Maybe a thought, or a smell, the light in the sky, or something is very familiar to a particular time 30 or 40 years ago and it connects to the now, and causes a waking memory.
There have been times when I have felt like I was having sensations of memories way beyond my time. Like the strange longing for a vast landscape that looked like Israel. Though I always have assumed that longing was due to the fact that I had seen Jesus Christ Superstar as a young child and it impacted me greatly. ( I had no concept of who Jesus was, just that he was a super good looking guy who sang with a group of traveling singers and something about God)
As years have passed and I kept that longing and connection for a land these feet have not walked upon, I have just sort of thought that perhaps due to the weird nature of ‘time’ , sometimes a moment that happens in the now, comes very close to feeling like some other strand and connects with it. Even if that strand is not my own. At least not from this lifetime.
So maybe when I have this sensation, I’m just looping across my old timeline. Or maybe whatever it is that keeps changing the present moment slips back a few gears momentarily and I’m not quite here, or there.