…it’s interesting how someone you love so much can hurt you so deeply.
You’re laughing and joking, and all is good…. then a little while later, you say something he doesn’t want to hear and he tells you to shut up
– not just TELLS you but YELLS at you to shut up-
calls you stupid. Then comes the dissection. Picking apart what YOU feel that you do well. The laundry, making meals etc.
At first there is anger… how DARE he talk to you like that? How DARE he yell at you, and put you down when all you’ve ever done is tried your best? How DARE he call you stupid when you’re the one that has had to organize his life for him, set up doctors appointments, budget the groceries?
How DARE he say SHUT THE F**** UP when YOU are the one
that used to say prayers with him before bed… used to sing him to sleep?
Then the tears come.
Because it feels like your heart is breaking.
Sure… if it was your husband, you could just wipe away the tears, pack up and move on.
But it’s your son.