Dark Night of the Soul

Well, maybe that’s a bit pompous of me to compare my spiritual crisis to such a lovely peice of work. However, lately I’ve been feeling rather alone. Not ‘people’ alone… in fact I’ve been feeling more anti-social than ever… but spiritually alone. The incessant buzzing in my mind of stress and worry and irritation at every little thing has silenced the presence of the One. 

MotherFather has not felt close to me lately.

I have gone for my walks, and tried to open my heart and mind, but I find so much bitterness and anger inside. Not for any particular reason. It’s a vicious circle.

I start getting caught up in the system of the world, and start forgetting to pay attention to the threads that strum and sing within it. Soon, I lose myself in my day to day conflicts and my own prolific internet superhighway travels and wander far from the Voice.

I forget.

The more I forget, the more lost I am, until one day, I realize that the little flame within me is no longer burning brightly. It’s just barely flickering. Enough light only to stir the shadows, not enough to  weaken them until they become the gentle shadows that we welcome on a bright day. 

So, as an effort to bring life back to that little spark, I realize I have to make room, and re-open the dialogue between myself and the One. The MotherFather.

Leaving the laptop closed until just before bed is a great way to start.

Remembering to listen, underneath the noise,

To feel, underneath the senses,

And to take time to love my Self.

Ignoring  Self is the easiest way to allow it to become lost. Unattended. Unloved.

The world offers so many amazing things. It’s easy to get scooped up in it all. Sometimes it’s good to just sit back and breathe.

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