So first off, my life as it is right now is really pretty good. I haven’t had a drink in 12 weeks and am with a caring partner who is also my best friend. Both of those things are wonderful things. The happiness I began to feel when starting a new relationship with someone who … [Read more…]
Making the choice to not ever drink again was like making the choice to keep an abuser out of my life for good. Taking a stand for myself. I know people can have non abusive relationships with alcohol – i see this in my boyfriend, and in a (few) others. But it absolutely does make me view the alcohol scene in a very new way. And for those drawn to abusive relationships it’s a slippery slope. What can be a casual rendezvous for someone else is an ass-kicking for me.
30 days without a drink. In 19 days it will be 3 years without my daughter. My broken heart didn’t heal. It has scars though, lots of them and they have changed me. I’m entering a new chapter of my life, one that I couldn’t enter before because of the complacency that alcohol brings. This … [Read more…]
This was one of the questions put to me by the spiritual director I’m meeting with, and it opened up a lot of thoughts. I need to preface this by stating that for me God is not a masculine Father Figure in the sky. God is the ineffable. Within. Without. God is more verb than … [Read more…]
Seemed time to update the header image. Or not. Whatever the case, it’s been updated. I also added a Pictures page and am working on getting some galleries together. Snapshots in time that don’t really properly depict how frumpy and unfun I am about 80% of the time – but who wants to look at … [Read more…]
I have a harder time lately, finding words that mean anything to type out. Two and a half years now since she passed. Just over a year since my husband and I split up. Almost nine months since my roomate moved in. I don’t think about her non stop anymore and cry less frequently. … [Read more…]
October 7th will be two years. Two years that she has been gone. I can’t say I ‘had’ a daughter. That seems like such blasphemy. The correct term to me is ‘HAVE’ a daughter. But she is no longer huggable. I can no longer hear her laughter or her voice. I can’t look forward to … [Read more…]
How is it that a whole year just went by? I admit that I have, for the most part – been in a state of disassociation I think. Sometimes worse than others. But suddenly the day was here. I had spent about 3 weeks FULLY completely dreading it. Then two weeks wondering what I should … [Read more…]
This is about the time that all the trees with their dried out leaves begin to whisper about the Fall. It is a time of year I normally love. This year it is tainted and darker. There is more than just random stories in the chatter of the leaves. More than just a collection of … [Read more…]
Some drone footage of some of the inhabited areas devastated by our hundreds of fires here right now.